I Don't Think I'm Anything
Bee A.
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I wrote 'I Don't Think I'm Anything' when I was thirteen years old after just getting back from a hyprid residential and wilderness program to help with my mental health. The beginning of quarantine was a very hard time for me because I was isolated and had a lot of trouble after getting bullied in middle school. It affected me a lot, and it still does today. I've been writing songs my whole life. My dad is a musician, so I've grown up around music and was always inspired to make my own, learn how to play instruments, and improve my lyric writing. In the summer of 2021, I was almost fourteen, which is when I wrote the song I'm submitting for the BACY. I had always wanted to be able to release my songs out into the world, but it had never felt like the right time to do so, as I was going through a tough time mentally.
When I wrote the lyrics to this song, I felt very sad and lonely because it was between the time of middle school and high school when I didn't have many friends. My middle school friends didn't really get what I was still going through and recovering from. The wilderness therapy program I went to from March 20th-June 1st 2021 was very sudden. after I had been in and out of mental hospitals, afraid that I would harm myself and make a decision I couldn't take back. The only thing that made me feel better was writing. Whether it was a song, a story, or a poem, all forms made me feel more like me and helped me express my feelings to my family without having to explain. Sometimes my feelings are indescribable and I don't know how to express them to people without confusing them.
I started to record some of my music for personal use in 2019, but never took the extra step to master and complete my songs. But after I got back from the wilderness program, I had so many new experiences to write about. I wrote so many songs that I was really proud of. I finally wanted to try and put myself out there. So my dad and I went to the studio, and he helped me record it, and then master it. We released ‘I don’t think I’m anything’ right before starting my sophomore year at Oakland School for the Arts. This was my second year at OSA, and I had really found my people. I am at OSA for Literary Arts, where I still get to focus on writing and sharing my work, and I have very supportive friends who help me continue to put my music out there.
I want to enter this contest because I believe that it’s important to take every chance I can get to tell my story through my songs and help other people feel less alone in what they’re going through. I love opening the Spotify for Artists app and looking at the streams of my songs, the different playlists they’ve been added to, and getting feedback that I’m talented and my music is so raw and beautiful. It makes me feel so amazing and proud whenever I release a new song because each song I release reminds me of how far I’ve come as a person. After all that I’ve been through, it’s crazy that I get to make those bad memories into things that other people might understand by listening to my music. I hope to inspire others and most importantly, inspire myself to keep on going and writing.
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I love to sing and write music because it helps me express myself and cope with negative feelings. l enjoy writing stories and poetry, too. But the main thing I like is writing my own music, producing it, and releasing it out in the world.
