Thoughts on the conflicts of aging

Over the past few years, I've seen a rise in teen writers using their cultural identity as the basis of their art. I have always had mixed feelings for this: it almost seems trendy now to use one's race to speak about discrimination, even if that is fabricated. In America, I don't always feel in touch with my identity. I feel out of place in both cultures I'm part of, and sometimes I feel like I'm not knowledgeable enough to write poetry about being Chinese. For me, culture is a complicated thing and though I wish to be able to create art inspired by my feelings towards it, it seems far too dimensional to put into words. I want to create poetry surrounding my own feelings, but I don't think I know myself well enough to. Perhaps this is my own way of grappling with my cultural identity in the midst of a world that is as confused as I am. This poem, rather than being a one-night thing that I got a sudden inspiration for, was instead written over the course of two weeks. I struggled with my language and my feelings a lot, and what began as a criticism of using one's culture for one's own artistic benefit turned into a complex questioning of my own identity and my relationship to it.

This story is the true experience of my grandfather during the India Pakistan Partition in 1947. At the time he was 8 years old and his parents had left him, his brother, and his grandmother in Pakistan while his dad got a new job in India. This is my interpretation of his story on how he reunited with his family in India.

This poem was created to express my appreciation for the 'little moments', and memories from my childhood. As a first generation teenager growing up in America, I have developed an immense appreciation for my family across seas in Sri Lanka, and the memories that are created. Time and time again, as I am brought back to my grandmother's house after a long flight, am blessed with a certain nostalgic feeling that I'll never forget: a memory of my culture.

When I sit down to write, I’ve found that soulful music helps me best create meaningful work. Perhaps it’s the sharing of universal human experiences that I’m compelled and inspired by. I thus listened to many melodies while writing this. My goal is always to be as vulnerable and honest as I can. That objective is frightening, but all the same vital. I chose to write about the California coast because it has been a steadfast part of my life and soul, through cutting grief and light-heartedness alike. I included the theme of growing pains throughout the writing to subtly comment on how we as people ultimately don’t have a say in what happens to us, but a world of choice in letting go.

I wanted to create a sense of urgency that can only be captured when the poem feels like its on the verge of insanity. When I wrote this piece, I was encapsulated in the idea of routine, the balance between longing and taking, and the hunger that comes with girlhood. My poem seeks to capture this balance. My artistic process went somewhat like this: I first started with a brainstorm, letting myself free write all over a blank document. I then went through many different drafts trying to capture the authenticity of the original words. I read and re-read the poem, I made both mundane and major edits, and at the end of it all I can honestly say that I put myself wholly in this piece.